Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Randomize
