nutella sex= disaster
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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