And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
