I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
