I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
We left the knife in your bed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
