his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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