please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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