I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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