He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
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