Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
