I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Randomize