you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Randomize
