im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
