Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
