wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
it's like iHOP with fire
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
