I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
