i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
