is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
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