I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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