You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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