i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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