it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
