What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
And the cops told us we were all naked.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Please tell me you woke up next to the hot one cause his ugly friend is still snoring in my bed and my favorite panties are ripped.
Wingwoman of the year. I'll buy you dinner tonight and a new thong. It was THAT good.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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