No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize