Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I would ride that face into the sunset
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
