Its about making memories worth repressing
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
