...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
