problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
