She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
