At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
