You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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