Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
