4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize