Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
