i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
