get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
