ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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