I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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