he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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