There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
