you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
