you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
