I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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