This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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