Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
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