I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
Randomize
