she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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