I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Randomize
