Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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