i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
my poor anus
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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