On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Randomize
