Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
