We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
