I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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