Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
