Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
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