I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
