they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Randomize
