Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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